HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THE QUEEFEATS VS. HAUNTED ASSHOLE PODCAST UP!

Hello all you loyal readers out there. As you might have figured out, this blog is a place where I post other peoples full albums for you to download. WELL NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKER! The jerks from the Sleepies invited challenged us to do an UPTHEDRUNX podcast with them over the weekend. What ensued was possibly the dumbest 2 hours of recording in the history of mankind. Holy shit, you need to hear this. We are fucking ridiculous.

Just listen. Oh man. PS: beware the "special track"

UpTheDrunx - Haunted Castle Owns the Sleepies

GUEST POST! Josh of the Sleepies reviews the SCREAMING FEMALES: "What If Someone Is Watching Their TV?"

So a minute ago I asked little Joshybearteddypants from the Sleepies to do a guest review of whatever the fuck he wanted (Englebert Humperdink excluded. I can't type that shit without laughing and laughing out loud at work draws attention to the fact that I am a nonproductive member of the office. Which I am." Anyways, he decided to do a review of a real album instead of sending me like the "5th Reich's greatest Dinnertime Classics" or something. Anyways, here it is. If you don't like it tell him to eat a dick and die, not me. I've already had seconds thank you.

SCREAMING FEMALES - WHAT IF SOMEONE IS WATCHING THEIR T.V.?

Despite an obvious lack of dragon or unicorn imagery (or whatever the hell gets No Gods, No Vegetables going these days){EDITORS NOTE: Fuck you clown, I like dragons. That shit rules.], New Brunswick's Screaming Females seem to strike a near perfect balance of pop sensibility, sincerity, sass, and for lack of a better word, "balls" on "What If Someone Is Watching Their TV?" that can appease even the crustiest of posers [EDITORS NOTE: THAT'S ME!]. The album opener, "Theme Song", sets a tone that makes the Screamales (as they're affectionately called by some) come off like an irritated 4 year old on a sugar high {EDITORS NOTE: That's a good thing in this case... I think?]. The bass and drums lock in to create a solid, danceable bounce throughout the track while the guitar shrieks along coupled with nails on a chalkboard screaming.

As the songs pass, the band proves that they're equally as capable of showing a sweeter, more tender side with tracks like "Little Anne" and "Mothership" while still leaving the listener intrigued and uncomfortable largely due to frantic, angry and seemingly terrified sounding vocals. It becomes abundantly clear that the notes the signer can't hit are perhaps even more poignant and effective than those that she can {EDITORS NOTE: further proof that knowing how to play is for dildicks. Read: I play in Haunted Castle].

The album's final track, "Boyfriend" serves as the perfect cherry on top [EDITORS NOTE: Cherry on the mind again you fucking perv? God you're a degenerate.], reuniting the listener with that irritated child who reared his ugly head during the first few songs. Although he seemed to calm down through some of the middle tracks, "Boyfriend" reminds us that the Screamales are still capable of erupting into a screechy, unsettling and utterly irresistible mess. Their unique songwriting, heartfelt sincerity and raucous musicianship makes it easy to see why they're one of the best local bands around. Their next full length, titled "Power Move" comes out April 14th [EDITORS NOTE: That's my fucking birthday. Sweet dude.] on New Jersey's Don Giovanni Records (home of Hunchback and The Ergs!).

FINAL EDITORS NOTE: The more I listen to this, the more I think you just wanna poke the singer. And the drummer too probably. Actually, yeah, you definitely wanna poke.

Screaming Females - What If Someone Is Watching Their TV?

Party at my place 2/21

For $5 come see Torpedo with Kendra Morris (rock 'n' roll), Fake Hooker (punk rock 'n'roll), the Sleepies (pop-punk rock'n'roll played by a bunch of fucking muppets), Old Testament Heroes (like the sleepies, just smaller. So so small.) and possibly, if enough beers are consumed Haunted Castle (the worst fucking band in the known universe. Come see it just for the fucking spectacle... Seriously, this shit is like the wheelchair basketball of heavy metal.
)

Dance all night to the sounds of DJ K-Tel and possibly guests.
Drink cheap fucking beer and booze!

Use Dan Bones extraspecial stranglebation hook that he keeps above his bed! It'll be a hoot!

Just show the fuck up and bring a shit ton of people.


A friendly request.
NO FIGHTING, NO TAGGING! Other than that it's fair fucking game kids

DOORS AT 8:00 FIRST BAND AT 10/10:30

The Sleepies - Join the Shark

So there's this band in Brooklyn called the Queefies Sleepies who blow, so hard. Seriously, it's like the sonic equivalent of a quadriplegics orgy while your mom mows the lawn crying about her failed child. Seriously. Damn.

Anyways, sometimes I like to listen to it because that kinda thing is how I get my jollys. Oh yeah, they're also great to make fun of in person. I highly recommend berating them. You can pick them out from the crowd because their bassist looks like a teddy bear, their lead singer looks like the bastard child of Ted Kaczynski and a legume, and their drummer wets the bed. Usually my bed.

Oh hell, who am I kidding, I love these goofy fuckers. Download this shit for some catchy garage punk about who knows what inane crap. It's fun. It's their first release ever and it's worth your measley, pathetic 15 minutes.

Click pic for DL