Wednesday, April 29, 2009

New Nadja Cut Fucking Rules

Just got this cut from Nadja's new album "When I See The Sun Always Shines On TV" which came out yesterday. Shit's pretty fucking awesome. Check it aus. It's kinda amusing that this is by far the most upbeat Nadja song I've ever heard and it's a fucking My Bloody Valentine cover...

Nadja - Only Shallow (My Bloody Valentine)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Hi everyone, last night between 3:40 and 4:05AM my bike was stolen out of my building (470 Flushing Ave) by a tall black guy with a Yankees hat, black clothes and white shoes (like that really helps...). We got the whole thing on security camera but no clear shots of his face. He came from the direction of woodhull/marcy projects/​bushwick and left headed that way. Spent a half hour inside and apparently knew what he was looking for.

The bike is a Surly steamroller spraypainted matte black (maroon underneath) with stickers for kylesa, Trackstar, Atakke, and Parasytic on it. The paint is flaking all over. It has part of a white pentagram on the headtube.

It's got black sugino 75 cranks with white odyssey pedals (clip on only the left pedal), a 42t sugino ring, orange machined 28 spoke deep-v's to silver low flange phil hubs, silver riser bars with black oury grips, a black generic threadless stem and a turbo saddle on a silver kalloy post. The lock will still possibly be attached to it considering he ripped the entire bannister out of the wall and walked out with it still attached. The hubs are unique in that the phil logos don't line up with the valve stem holes.

According to a friend who saw the guy at around 6 before hearing it had been stolen, he's in the bed-stuy area still and is riding the bike. If you're at Pratt or by Fulton please keep extra close watch.

Please spread the word and call me at 917.873.4220 if you see anything like a steamroller with orange wheels/phil low flange hubs.


Computer Died, Is Back Now

So my old comp's hard drive shat the bed last thursday and I haven't been able to upload shit (much to the dismay of many I'm sure...). Anyways, work lent me a new one and now I'm back up and running. Expect a flurry of posts this afternoon.

Zoroaster - The Voice of Saturn

Remember infinity weeks ago when I made that post about checking out Zoroaster in Greenpoint at Europa and said how stoked I was to see them in Atlanta? Well I'm still stoked on that show. Dan and the dudes were super cool to me and my friend Vic (an old friend of theirs from the ATL) and they hooked vic up with their new album as soon as it came out. They played a bunch of stuff off it in their two shows but shit is so soul crushingly loud and heavy you can't really tell which way is up when they're on stage. Anyways, Vic passed me this album last weekend and I'm just getting it up now. (pause).

Jumping in from the first track the only thing I could think was, "Mmmmm... Ambience..." followed almost immediately by "SWEET UNHOLY FUCK! IT'S THE UNRELEASED SLEEP SONG!" That emotion ended pretty fucking quickly as the song mellowed out in to a repetitive, piano riff. I still haven't decided if it bored the hell out of me or got a decent head nod, probably a little of both but it was definitely a kicker that early in the album. Fortunately, as soon as "Spirit Molecule" fired up it was straight back to the snarling THC drenched stoner doom of Sleep and fuck is it good if not overly original. The thing I love, and have always loved about Zoroaster is that they don't fuck around. They do doom. They do it well. When they don't fuck with what works it's good. Period. Occasionally though they stray from the more traditional path and results vary.

Take for example the song "White Dwarf" featuring Brent of Mastodon. If you manage to make it through all 5:24 of that ring modulator atmospheric JO sesh sober then huzzah on you. Fortunately, they dive right back into massive riffage shortly after and don't let up until the end of album. In fact, that's pretty much the only real low point for me besides the somewhat confusing piano.

On a whole, the album winds it's way through some highly agreeable stoner doom that is definitely a different, somewhat more produced (not in a bad way mind you) vibe than Dog Magic or the S/T but give it a listen and enjoy the definite "Sleep-y" vibe.

Zoroaster - Voice of Saturn

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Book of Black Earth - Horoskopus

Just got word from Dav in Book of Black Earth that it's cool for me to post this album. Which is sweet 'cause this shit rules. Super hard. TJ and crew put this out last year and somehow it went kind of past my radar (maybe because I don't read metal blogs...). My boy John Prolly sent it over the other day and I've been jamming on it all weekend. Nothing old fashioned about this good old fashioned black/death/thrash band. Coming out of the Pacific NW, they definitely don't fit the post grunge doom or the crusty Todd Tragedy vibes going on. BoBE is definitely it's own beast. Emphasis on beast. They're also on tour now (missed the fuckers because they were busy showing me up by playing when Haunted Castle was playing. Fuckers. Anyways check the Book of Black Earth Myspace for dates.

Book of Black Earth - Horoskopus

Monday, April 20, 2009

In A Rut...

I don't know what's up but recently I've been some kind of musical rut. I'm just not interested in looking for new shit. Guess there's too much shit goin' on at the moment. Maybe I'll declare this the first official "Hey you! Send me some shit to post!" week of No Gods, No Vegetables. It's gotta stick with the theme of this site of course, but if it's good I'll post it up.

But really... why bother listening to anything else but Neurosis, Nausea, Bongzilla, and the Misfits?

Tracks of the Week

New Tracks of the week posted. As always, email me at if you want any of these songs.

Last TOTW.

* Masshysteri - Johnny B. Goode
* Mutant Supremacy - Aria For A Blackened Earth
* Leftöver Crack - The Good, The Bad, And The Leftöver Crack
* After the Bombs - Centuries Of Genocide
* Limb From Limb - Dismemberment
* Cock Sparrer - Take 'Em All
* God's Iron Tooth - Bound With Electrical Tape
* We Are All Savages - Media Control
* What Happens Next - Stereotypical Male Fantasies
* Metallica - For Whom The Bell Tolls

Epic Fuckin' Weekend Maaaaaan.

A huge thanks to everyone who came out to see Haunted Castle/We Are All Savages/Nanda Devi on Thursday and Deep in Vein/Rats in the Walls/Mutant Supremacy/Landmine Marathon on Friday. Awesome times were had at both and it was good to see NYC folks actually enjoying themselves. Everyband crushed it. Landmine blew me a fucking way man, some dude got his head split wide the fuck open and they just kept shredding. Anyways, check out this photo set of Rats in the Walls and rock the metal punk. If anyone has any Haunted Castle shots from Thurs lemme know?

Rats in the Walls at the Charleston. 4/17/2009. Photos by Chris "Crash" Reed

Rats in the Walls by Mike Short

Friday, April 17, 2009

Fuck yeah! 15 minutes with the Accüsed!

Spent all afternoon listening to the Accüsed again and came across this madness. Fucking sweet dude! The Accüsed in their youthest of youth.

Turn it up, I can't hear, more chicks, more beer!

A Moment of Leisure with Nanda Devi

Remember that killer doom band from Portland whose myspace I posted a while back? Nanda Devi? Well, they showed up in NYC last night to play a killer show with Haunted Waffles Haunted Asshole Slanted Asshole Haunted Castle and We Are All Sausages Savages. They played a killer set despite some audio-abortions involving basically having no vocals... That what you get with three huge amps and 2 tiny PA speakers. Sorry fuckers. Anyways, before they on their way to Amish country I managed to grab them for some more inane questions. Again, as always, involving sea creatures and fisting.


Haunted Waffles at Nanda Deli from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Best Video of the Day

FUCK YES. This just about sums it up for me right now. Come to the Haunted Castle show tonight.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

More Amusement At The Expense of Norway (Late Pass Warning)

So my friend Wendy just sent me this email exchange her friend Dave had with this total Black Metal dude from a band called Mysticum in 2005 about... Black Metal? If you've got some time to spare read this shit. It's like the evil grandfather of that 7 legged spider email thing. JUST BLACKER.

The Black Metal Dialogues

Go listen to A National Acrobat

Now. That's an order.

Found a new jumpoff

Dudes, this blog is the fucking jumpoff. FARCED - Sybil Disobedience's blog

I met Sybil at Clem's the other night because she was wearing an Amebix shirt. I too was wearing an Amebix shirt. It was like that moment in Beavis and Butthead Do America where Butthead is like, "I noticed you have braces. I have braces too." to Chelsea Clinton but then gets chucked out a window. Yeah, just like that.

Anyways, get yer upthepeacepunx fix. It's sweet.

Monday, April 13, 2009


This weekend I promised myself that I would actually get my ass in gear and finish a shit ton of projects I started many moons ago. Specifically finishing the guitar cab and fixing the Sunn 200S I picked up a minute ago. WELL GUESS WHAT FUCKERS! I ACTUALLY FINISHED SOMETHING I STARTED! FUCK YEAH! With mad help from Dan Forst we replaced the bad tube socked, re-soldered some shit and bam the fucking Sunn is a champion. After that Dan and I finally figured out a decent way to tolex up the "picture frame" front to the cab I build with Thom Skuld over the winter. After a little more help from my roomate Luke and a shit ton of more glue fumes the motherfucker is up and running like a champ! Technically I still need to put like two tiny connections in so that I can daisy chain the thing and a few screws in the back of the picture frame, but as of right now it sounds like Satan's screams and I'm fucking stoked.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Somebody explain this shit to me.

Ok what the fuck is the deal with Kyuss? How come so many people hoover on their nuts yet they always come across as alright but nothing special? What the hell am i missing? Is it like a right place right time thing? I mean they wrote some decent riffs and all and had a pretty solid tone but it's really nothing special to me.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Anti-Cimex - Raped Ass 7"

When your day's feeling like an RA, listen to RA! More strictly codified d-beat from the north. OH BOY SWEDEN! HOORAY!

God I love Anti-Cimex.

Anti-Cimex - Raped Ass 7"

Candlemass - Epicus Doomicus Metallicus

Because it's a fucking gorgeous day out and sunny and 60degrees and awesome and I'm stuck inside all goddamn day with a metric fuckton of work here's some epically doomed metal. In fact so epic and so doom that it invented the genre of epic doom metal. For fuck's sake, it's even called EPICUS DOOMICUS METALLICUS! Epic.

God I love Candlemass.

PS: Yes, I am on a Scandinavian kick. Again. Somebody gimme some goddamn Bombenalarm so I can start moving south.

Candlemass - Epicus Doomicus Metallicus + 2 Extra Live Tracks

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Masshysteri - Vår Del Av Stan

'Member that band of good lookin people with the witty comments I interviewed the other day? You know, the one's who were all about huffing propane and killing pikes? Yeah well here's their album. If you get a chance look for videos of their live show. It's a ton of fun. It's all in Swedish but I'm sure every song is about the triumph of the Snuggy.

Masshysteri - Vår Del Av Stan

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Just Because You Can...

Doesn't mean you should.

Stay off the cocaine kids. For me.

Sleep - Holy Mountain & Dopesmoker

A few days ago I sold a bunch of my stuff and dropped a shit ton of money on some plane tickets to get to All Tomorrow's Parties to see Sleep play. Well... Sleep, Electric Wizard, Lords, Jesu, and the fucking Jesus Lizard amongst others. But really, the first order of business is Sleep. It's a good fucking day when the first order of business is Sleep.

So, while dicking around on the internet today I just found out that not only is Sleep playing 2 days. But their line up is supposed to be something like:

Day 1: All of Holy Mountain, front to back
Day 2: All of Jerusalem, front to back + a newly completed unreleased song from back in the day


In honor of the fact that I will soon be able to kick the bucket a happy man, here's all of Holy Mountain and all of Dopesmoker (the 2003 release with the live version of Sonic Titan). yessssssss........

This is the point that all other awesome 90's doom sprung from/around. The Magnum Dopus if you will. Hit this shit.

Sleep - Holy Mountain

Sleep - Dopesmoker


Monday, April 6, 2009

Tracks of the Week

New tracks are up, as always, if you want any of them shoot me an email and I'll send em over.

Last weeks tracks:
* Om - At Giza
* Cro-Mags - Hard Times
* Yob - The Mental Tyrant
* N.O.T.A - Cattle Call
* Nausea - Fallout
* Noothgrush - Jundland Wastes
* Buzzov*en - Useless
* Electric Wizard - Supercoven
* Anti-Cimex - Raped Ass
* Death (Punk) - You're a Prisoner

Massidioci with Masshysteri 4/6/2009

Just because foreigners don't look down on us quite enough, I gave Robert and Erik from Masshysteri a few more good reasons to be glad they were born in Sweden. Hylariti ensues... sorta.

PS: Thanks for the time dudes, have a good flight back.

Masshysteri's Myspace

Massidiocy with Masshysteri 4/6/2009 from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

5 Minutes of Pleasure with NJ's The Measure

Last night Brooklyn's brand new venue, Bruar Falls (where the old Lucky Cat used to be) played host to NJ's The Measure and Sweden's Masshysteri. Super fucking fun times. Everyone in the bands were cool enough to spare a couple of minutes to answer the most inane questions I could think of on the spot. Here's 5 minutes with the Measure. Who are a blast.

The measure's myspace: NGNV WARNING this may be too much "fun" for the doom crowd. The Measure's Myspace

The Measure 4/06/2009 from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Friday, April 3, 2009

20 Moronic Questions with Junior from We Are All Savages + Their First Album

In response to my extreme laziness this week I've decided to end the week on a high note. Today Junior from the Brooklyn based We Are All Savages took the time out of his busy day as a librarian (no joke, he works that the NYC College of Technology library in Brooklyn somewhere. Go ask him if he has Twilight. He fucking loves that shit.) to shoot the shit with me (online... more specifically over instant message because I can't be fucked to transcribe taped interviews) about the band, life, nuclear war and the mysterious "Jersey Stranger."

Here's our very special version of 20 questions.

Jack Crank: Uh ok I'm going to ask you questions about WAAS

Junior “Boobs” Tidal: sure

JC: Answer as you see fit
Who are you?

JBT: I'm Junior. I run the guns in this outfit. I play the chainsaw and yell a whole lot.

JC: Do you always lie to make friends or just this time?

JBT: I never tell the truth, but that's also a lie.

JC: Good answer. So your band is called We Are All Savages. Why didn't you call it We Are Super Savage or something so you could spell your acronym right? You wass.

JBT: Well, we think that everyone is savage in one way or another. Plus we named it after this legend about these french fur traders who joined a group of native americans to be brutal and awesome. I guess being native american is more metal than being french? Also, WAAS just looks rad.

JC: I still think you're a wass. You know, like in that Manic Hispanic song where the dude comes out to his friend and he's like, "No dude, I'm in to the wass!" Yeah like that.

Anyways, about your look, your logo looks like the sped metal version of the Nausea logo. Is that your schtick? Are you like the sped metal bastard sons of Nausea? YOU THINK YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH TO COP NAUSEA? IN THIS TOWN?!

JBT: Ha! Totally. Maybe we'll write a song about wass

JC: You definitely should

JBT: Even if we all had dreads, didn't take a shower for six months and have a lady singer, we still wouldn't be as good as Nausea. That band is fucking siiiiick.
Yeaaaaah dude, Nausea is fucking sick. So if you don't sound like the sped metal, showering, not as good version of Nausea what do you sound like?
Well, we take our influences from a wide range of places.

Riff, our drummer is from Seattle so he's got that Pacific NW metal sound. Like Melvins influence and stuff. Adam and Brendan are from the midwest and their type of hardcore is totally different from the coasts. I was raised on southern crust like His Hero and Buzzoven.

It's hard to say what we sound like. Maybe if someone threw up in a blender after too many shots of whiskey and beer we'd sound like the sounds the blender would make.

JC: Ha, truth. Especially with your guitar's ehh... "reliability" issues.

JBT: We fight our equipment every day. It can't handle the savagery.

JC: Wow... that's... savage. So do you actually write your own lyrics or do you just have one of those random spam generators pick headlines out of the news from the last couple of years?

JBT: We usually just use Mad Libs and a Portuguese dictionary. Right before the show, we try and memorize them and throw in some radical politics for good measure.

JC: Sounds about right. I mean seriously dude, who the fuck is writing about slavers anymore anyways? How long have you been a band?

JBT: We've been a band for almost two years. It takes a long time to figure out what kind of sound we wanted to go for.

We don't just write about slavers though.
We also also write about nuclear war and jersey strangers

JC: This is true, some times you write about zombies and media control. Jersey strangers, is that like the Boston strangler?

JBT: The jersey stranger is a special technique. I think you can look it up on urban dictionary.

JC: Remind me to do that after work. So nuclear war is pretty bogus, what else bums you out?

JBT: The current economy is a big let down. That's totally weak sauce. CEOs getting big bailouts and using them for bonuses is really lame.
We're also bummed out on weak mixed drinks and hang/bangovers

JC: How bout meat? That get you stoked? What's your best story about beef?

JBT: Ha! I'm not down with meat and I don't have any good stories about beef. I think I've forgotten what it tastes like...

JC: Why the hell am I talking to you again? Is everyone in your band a wuss? I mean veg?

JBT: Nope, Riff rocks the carcass, but he's the only one. I'm vegan cause I really hate plants. Harvest 'em all and fry 'em up! The other kids eat eggs and diary.

JC: Excellent. So what's next for WAAS? You jut put out this CD thing, vinyl? Touring? When will we see the We Are All Savages: INTENSITY IN 10 CITIES!?

JBT: Let's see, we're going to record soon with Brendan Tobin at Sterling Audio. We're trying to talk to some friends on the west coast about a split, but you know punk rockers. We have a tour scheduled for the 3rd week of June where we'll hit the east coast! Then there's going to be that awesome show with Haunted Castle and Nanda Devi before all of that on April 16th, so we're totally psyched.

JC: You say that like you don't already live on the east coast. Cheater. Fuck yeah, that show's where it's gonna be at. I hear you have some other bands that are better than WAAS, is that true? Do your band mates know about this?

JBT: Ha ha! Yeah, I think we get reminded about this at shows. I'm also the drummer for Rats in the Walls. I'm pretty sure the other WAAS dudes know this.
I'm not sure which is better. I'm usually tanked at both practices

JC: Yeah that's a good point, you were pretty wasted last night. Are the rumors of WAAS covering Ginuwine's Pony true?

JBT: They are in fact. We're also going to cover R. Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly and a Hall and Oates cover.

JC: Dude Hall and Oates? Step up your game sally. So we're at something like 17 questions and my snark is running thin. Why don't you ask me a question?

JBT: Okay this is a rather personal question, so I understand if you don't want to answer but Reign in Blood or Kill 'em All?

JC: Oh fuck dude

JBT: Yeah, right?

JC: The nuances of that question are just too deep. I guess the short answer would be how many beers in?

JBT: Let's say a sixer

JC: Dag, got me on that one. It's a coin toss. I'd say Kill 'Em All for the bedroom, Reign in Blood for the bathroom. How's that?

JBT: Whoa, I'd totally do the opposite, Reign in Blood all the way.

JC: You should probably consult a doctor. Aight last question. God?

JBT: Lemmy is god

JC: Truth told. Aight man thanks for playing "20 Retarded Questions" Any last words?

JBT: Check out our shows! You'll get free buttons and earaches

JC: Würd

So that about does it for that. Bummer you'll never get those 7 minutes back. Ha.
Sucker. Anyways, here's the album. Listen to it.

We Are All Savages - We Are All Savages