So a minute ago I asked little Joshybearteddypants from the Sleepies to do a guest review of whatever the fuck he wanted (Englebert Humperdink excluded. I can't type that shit without laughing and laughing out loud at work draws attention to the fact that I am a nonproductive member of the office. Which I am." Anyways, he decided to do a review of a real album instead of sending me like the "5th Reich's greatest Dinnertime Classics" or something. Anyways, here it is. If you don't like it tell him to eat a dick and die, not me. I've already had seconds thank you.
SCREAMING FEMALES - WHAT IF SOMEONE IS WATCHING THEIR T.V.?
Despite an obvious lack of dragon or unicorn imagery (or whatever the hell gets No Gods, No Vegetables going these days){EDITORS NOTE: Fuck you clown, I like dragons. That shit rules.], New Brunswick's Screaming Females seem to strike a near perfect balance of pop sensibility, sincerity, sass, and for lack of a better word, "balls" on "What If Someone Is Watching Their TV?" that can appease even the crustiest of posers [EDITORS NOTE: THAT'S ME!]. The album opener, "Theme Song", sets a tone that makes the Screamales (as they're affectionately called by some) come off like an irritated 4 year old on a sugar high {EDITORS NOTE: That's a good thing in this case... I think?]. The bass and drums lock in to create a solid, danceable bounce throughout the track while the guitar shrieks along coupled with nails on a chalkboard screaming.
As the songs pass, the band proves that they're equally as capable of showing a sweeter, more tender side with tracks like "Little Anne" and "Mothership" while still leaving the listener intrigued and uncomfortable largely due to frantic, angry and seemingly terrified sounding vocals. It becomes abundantly clear that the notes the signer can't hit are perhaps even more poignant and effective than those that she can {EDITORS NOTE: further proof that knowing how to play is for dildicks. Read: I play in Haunted Castle].
The album's final track, "Boyfriend" serves as the perfect cherry on top [EDITORS NOTE: Cherry on the mind again you fucking perv? God you're a degenerate.], reuniting the listener with that irritated child who reared his ugly head during the first few songs. Although he seemed to calm down through some of the middle tracks, "Boyfriend" reminds us that the Screamales are still capable of erupting into a screechy, unsettling and utterly irresistible mess. Their unique songwriting, heartfelt sincerity and raucous musicianship makes it easy to see why they're one of the best local bands around. Their next full length, titled "Power Move" comes out April 14th [EDITORS NOTE: That's my fucking birthday. Sweet dude.] on New Jersey's Don Giovanni Records (home of Hunchback and The Ergs!).
FINAL EDITORS NOTE: The more I listen to this, the more I think you just wanna poke the singer. And the drummer too probably. Actually, yeah, you definitely wanna poke.
Screaming Females - What If Someone Is Watching Their TV?
