Thursday, June 30, 2011

Raise Em Right

Glöm Dä is Good Shit

Just got sent a crazy ass Korean Pop video by a solid Swedish punker. Here's his band. I'm digging it, especially the vox. Somehow, it doesn't sound like the same old d-beat, clearer but harder. Cool shit for a Thursday D-beatdown fix.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

MDF 2011 Final Day Recap

Main Room 1:15-8:15 (excluding Oak): If I hear another fucking blastbeat I am going find Miles Ratledge, punch a hole in his throat, and rape it.

Oak: Meh

Gravehill: These dudes are fucking great. I would never listen to this at home but these motherfuckers are working their asses off and look great doing it. And yes, that is the first time I've ever said that about a huge, sweaty man, in a spiked leather harness, covered in fake blood. Fuck yeah Gravehill.

Orange Goblin: If I hadn't locked my fucking keys in my truck this would have been the highlight of my day. They were everything I expected. Everything they were supposed to be. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just a bunch of dudes playing heavy rock. Nothing new or surprising or groundbreaking or mind blowing. Just good old fashioned stoner metal.

Nuclear Assault: In case you were wondering, the only way to have a successful band ever is to have Danny on bass. Seriously. Danny was the reason Mozart was a hit. He kickstarted the Rolling Fucking stones. He is probably Geezer Butler's father. And if you want a hit band, you must have him. Nuclear Assault, we love you, ease off the weirdo banter.

Bastard Noise: Well, ain't nobody like them around that's for fucking sure. Thank god somebody's keeping it interesting.

Coroner: Where the fuck have these dudes been? Ok so maybe their a little weird, and maybe they have some "funky" parts, but all and all one of the more interesting bands I've ever heard. Also, sweep picking into tapping into sweep picking without sounding like Yngwie J is pretty fucking impressive. Would see again.

Wormed/Last Days of Humanity: See Main Room 1:15-8:15 (excluding Oak). Also, refer to the 15minute grind rule.

Ghost: I'll have a post about this on Cvltnation one day. Way too much going on here for me to capture in one idiotic snarky comment.

MDF 3rd day Recap

Masakari: If I miss this fucking band one more time I'm gonna lose my shit. Godddamnit.

Creative Waste: This song was totally better the first 46x. Waittaminnit... isn't this a Machetazo covering Rotten Sound covering Carcass Covering Napalm Death cover?

Mammoth Grinder: I am ALL A-FUCKING-BOUT bands with "grind" in their name that play killer slow parts, crushing d-beat sections, and hardly ever use blastbeats. now if only we could get all the dis-bands to do the same. MamGr, yer ok! Also, Welcome to Hell is always the right choice.

Cretin: Well, that's brutal. It takes balls to rock a set of tits like that. Not that it makes any fucking difference. Once brutal, always brutal. Quote of the set, "Nothing I like more than titties except cock. As long as I don't have it..."

The Kill: "Mom Problems."

Nunslaughter: A solid candidate in the race for best one-liners. It's definitely gonna be close between these guys and Cretin. Come for the Hesh, stay for the standup. At least they rip hard at the hesher shit.

Acid Witch. If this is a joke it's already old. If it's serious, it should have been a joke. If it's both, it's still fucking lame. Bummer, totally wanted to like this little respite from fucking blastgrinddeath.

Voivod: Maybe, if I really devote myself to the study of metal, by the time I die, I may, possibly, be able to begin to wrap my puny mind around the might of Voivod.
... but probably not.

Exhorder: More good death metal. Nuff sed.

Hooded Menace: Hmmm... it's like the white dude, Finn version of Coffins. The one that hasn't been left in the Japanese-make-shit-all-totally-fuckedup-insane-creepy machine. That's in a good way though. It's pretty good. Problem: Hard not to laugh when thinking they should be named Hooded Pennis.

Stay Punk Kids

MDF Rundown Day 2

Fuck it, here's day 2!

Funebrarum: "The singer yells "FUCKING' METAL" a lot. That about sums it up.

Aura Noir: If Haunted Castle didn't suck we would have almost sounded like this. In our fucking dreams. And that's including the fact that they say shit like, "Here we go!"

Machetazo: Hearing dudes with fancy Castillian accents play meaty, gnarly grind is pretty funny. They'd make a killer doom band if they just played their opening riff for like 20 minutes though.

Cripple Bastard: Well, I guess we figured out where all the people in Italy actually getting shit done instead of sitting around drinking cappuccinos are... They're in Cripple Bastard making sure that we know the world has gone to the fucking dogs.

Corrosion of Conformity: Jesus, way to live the hardcore life fellas. At least it still sounds hardcore. Really hardcore. Shit, well this is pretty good! I'll be damned!

Neurosis: Still the best in the business. This band was absolutely worth tearing my shorts in to make pissing all over my left foot so I didn't lose my spot at the front gate [editors note: true story. I did that. It was worth it.]. Seriously, nothing heavier.

Exhumed: Oh, now I remember why I like death metal played by punks! Because it's fucking rad! That's why! And I don't even like deathgrind all that much.

Marduk: This sucks less than I thought it would! A lot less. Dunno why I thought this would suck but it's pretty rocknroll. Always a plus for black metalers to avoid the fucking synth.

Monday, June 13, 2011

True Kvlt Surf Music

Good Monday Morning. The description to the first video is brilliant.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The MDF 2011 Rundown Begins

As you might be able to figure out, I don't post here much anymore. I post slightly more at cvltnation (but not nearly enough to make Sean and Meg happy...) but that's a different thing. One of the main reasons for my lack of posting is sheer fucking laziness. Yeah, pretty much that's it. It takes a fuck ton of work to keep this shit updated and I got lazy about it apparently. The other main reason I don't post as much as I used to is because my fucking camera broke and it's gonna cost like $180 min to fix that shit. That's a huge bummer for me because I really like shooting pics and $180 isn't exactly piss change (yeah this is a real thing. Some places in Europe those bastards actually make you pay like 30 cents to take a fucking leak. Pretty weak huh?). Either way, it gives me a lot less shit to share with the internets. In lieu of my posting photos, just go check out the work of dudes like Fred and Samantha and co over at Brooklyn Vegan. They're at pretty much all the shows I'm at anyways.

However, now that I've apologized and begged on bendedfuckingknee for your collective forgiveness, I'm going to at least make some minimal effort to do a rundown of Maryland Death Fest 2011. Since I don't believe in fucking Twatter or whatnot I'm going to put all my useless blurbs here. Because of dead camera syndrome, in order to remember what the hell I had seen, I relied on a little notebook thingy in which I hand wrote my random retard thoughts. Now y'all gotta deal with them. I'll do 3 a day until they run out or something. Maybe some longer posts for bands that struck my fancy.


Day 1:


Not being from New Mexico is rad because it means I'll never have to be as gnarly or fucked up as these dudes just to survive


Ask a Swede "Who's better? Dismember, Anti-Cimex, or Candlemass?" If they're in this band they'll answer, "Yes." Also, the singer looks like my friend Barney John.

Flesh Parade:

If Mardi Gras had a retarded grindcore party with cockshaped pool noodles & crusties it'd be kinda like this, but prolly less fun. They're like the Weedeater of Grindcore.



Your pleasant next door neighbors hardcore band. The one whose mom bakes rad cookies.


Yup, still Buzzov*en. Thank fucking god.


Seeing Tragedy is kinda hard to sum up in one sentence. Although when they played Conflicting Ideas I guess I could sum that up with, "NNNNNNGGGGGGHHHHH FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU *zblut* Ohhhhhhh...... mmmm......."


You see that shirt? Yeah, that just about says it all. Amazing.

Rest in Peace Brant

One of the few good ones. A life lived with no regrets for sure. We're going to miss you man, you were a helluva guy.