Glöm Dä is Good Shit

Just got sent a crazy ass Korean Pop video by a solid Swedish punker. Here's his band. I'm digging it, especially the vox. Somehow, it doesn't sound like the same old d-beat, clearer but harder. Cool shit for a Thursday D-beatdown fix.

Anti Cimex Lives... On Film!

Fuck me man, sometimes I get sent the best shit ever. Just got this from 138 over in Sweden. It's a little movie from 1985 of Anti-Cimex just kinda, doing shit. Awesome footage of them practicing, playing gigs, taking bubble baths, shopping a the leather daddy store, etc. You know, punk stuff. Anyways it's pretty fucking epic, thanks for that 138. Check his site out at Can't Hate Enough. It's all in gobbledygook foreignspeak though...

Anti Cimex - Other Measures from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Crucifyre- Infernal Earthly Divine

Pretty good black thrash my buddy Christauf tipped me off to recently. No doubt his knowledge of this band has to do with it's pedigree with former members from bands such as Nasum, Morbid, and General Surgery. With an album title that gay, you know this band wouldn't even be a blip on the radar if they weren't from Sweden. A promising first album. I'm looking forward to see where they go from here.

Click image for DL

Maryland Death Fest - MASSIVE VIDEO DUMP OF DEATH #3 Death goes Punk

From Ashes Rise @ MDF 5/30/10 - www.nogodsnovegetables.com from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

From Ashes Rise "Hell in the Darkness" @ MDF 5/30/10 - www.nogodsnovegetables.com from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Massgrave @ MDF. May 30th, 2010 - www.nogodsnovegetables.com from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Massgrave @ MDF. May 30th, 2010 - www.nogodsnovegetables.com from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Wolfbrigade @ MDF, 5/30/10 - www.nogodsnovegetables.com from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Wolfbrigade @ MDF. May 29th, 2010 from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Wolfbrigade @ MDF. May 29, 2010 - www.nogodsnovegetables.com from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

A Plea To My Friends In Sweden

If you are from Sweden, and you are a kind and generous soul, I'm asking, nay, pleading with you. Marry me? Seriously, I'm housebroken, I have all my shots, I make pretty decent waffles and burgers and shit. All I'm asking is for your (or a possibly a cute associate's) hand in marriage.

Man gets sick benefits for heavy metal addiction

Masshysteri - Vår Del Av Stan

'Member that band of good lookin people with the witty comments I interviewed the other day? You know, the one's who were all about huffing propane and killing pikes? Yeah well here's their album. If you get a chance look for videos of their live show. It's a ton of fun. It's all in Swedish but I'm sure every song is about the triumph of the Snuggy.

Masshysteri - Vår Del Av Stan

Massidioci with Masshysteri 4/6/2009

Just because foreigners don't look down on us quite enough, I gave Robert and Erik from Masshysteri a few more good reasons to be glad they were born in Sweden. Hylariti ensues... sorta.

PS: Thanks for the time dudes, have a good flight back.

Masshysteri's Myspace


Massidiocy with Masshysteri 4/6/2009 from Jack Crank on Vimeo.

Avskum - Punkista

Last night Haunted Castle (minus Thom the drummer, who obviously doesn't count because he's a fucking drummer right?) were invitied over by the Sleepies to partake in a little head to head assholery in the form of the UpTheDrunx PodcASSt. Many beers were consumed, insults thrown, pizza eaten, and longing glances thrown carelessly across the room. Sadly, lost in the moment instead of playing my usual ass and thrash metal, I just played a bunch of songs about fucking Josh in uncomfortable ways. Because of this I totally forgot to play all my good fucking D-beat which was my original intention. Josh, who is a pussy, goes batshit at me fairly regularly due to my inane and occasionally obsessive need to categorize my music down to it's most stupidly compartmentalized state, while comparing his shitty excuse for a garage band (the Sleepies) to every single band that plays anything resembling pop punk at all. It's fun you should try it some time.

So, in honor of Josh's annoyance and the victory of Haunted Castle, here's some Crusty, Swedish, D-beat by Avskum. The album's called Punkista and features some nutty fucking Scandis playing to the same old beat, singing about anti-capitalism, and war crimes, and shit. Fuck me dude, northern European d-beat is just irresistable. Avskum does a damn good job of keeping it pretty close to the Discharge/Anti-Cimex sound (See "State Terrorism" for details) with some Motörhead-esque riffs thrown in there (ever since my friend Junior pointed out that d-beat is sounds like a faster, less in tune Motörhead that's pretty much all I can hear. It's driving me nuts. I think I have Inepsy to thank too. Bastards.) Anyway, long and short, it's a lovely way to start your week.

Avskum - Punkista

Bathory - Bathory

Allmusic.com says of Bathory, "In a musical realm where scale of influence has little to do with commercial success, few originators of the extreme metal arts evoke as deep a sense of mystery, or incite such hushed, reverential tones of admiration, as Sweden's Bathory." They then go on to talk about all thehttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=4707391683860816087 other sweet shit that has come out of this band. In general I think their little blurb is pretty on target... cept for that first statement. My point of disagreement comes specifically with the "hushed, reverential tones of admiration" part. I disagree because there is NOTHING FUCKING HUSHED ABOUT MY REVERENTIAL TONES OF ADMIRATION GODDAMNIT. Motherfucking Bathory rules. From the first to the last album this band is the fucking best there was. Easily one of the most influential metal bands of all time, there's just no fucking around with Bathory. 1 dude, a garage and a whole lot of terrifying noise. You just can't get better than that. Brutal, dark, harrowing shit right here.

The first time I put this album on my turntable I almost lost my shit. It's perfect, basement quality recording, side darkness and side evil, pentagrams and the goat, black and white, stark as fuck. This shit almost singlehandedly defined all extreme metal to come (you know, besides that whole mercyful fate/venom thing going on...). Even with the weather warming up a little, there's never a bad time for Bathory.

Bathory - Bathory

Dissection - The Somberlain & Storm Of The Light's Bane

So it's really fucking cold in New York right now. Cold like, "Fuck this shit, I ain't getting out of bed goddamnit!" cold. But, despite my lack of wanted to go anywhere or do anything, cold weather is good for a few things. Consumption of wine and heated liquors, trying to get other people to stay in your bed, you know, "for warmth," and most of all motherfucking BLACK METAL!

Dissection was the best fucking black metal bands to come out of Sweden. Jon Nödtveidt and his crew definitely stood out for spanning the wide gap between death and black metal at the time and in the process, made some of the most haunting, heavy shit of the era. Sadly Nödtveidt got involved in some fucked up shit and spent form 1997-2004 in jail for killing a gay man in Gothenburg effectively killing the band. Jon killed himself in 2006 but these first two albums are still timeless extreme metal classics for the eternal winter of life.

Dissection - The Somberlain & Storm Of The Light's Bane

A moment of Steele

So my friend Sarah is the one who sent me that moshing germans picture and the metal band name flow chart shot. I've decided (by way of her telling me that I've decided) to give her a weekly photo spot. This week's shot is a response to the previously posted black metal blog post thing.

Why We Keep Sweden Around

My friend just forwarded me this blog post of some crazy ass Swedish black metaler. Enjoy.

AUDIO VERSION: Balcks Metals Blöggings as read by Skwisgaar Skwigelf


NOTE FROM DAN BONES: THIS IS TO BE READ IN THE SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF VOICE!

Subject: I thought you would get a kick out of this SWEDISH BALCK
METAL GUSYY" FUCKING BLOG POST FROM MYSPACE!!!

Fuck off with your bullshits!You have a mental ill and I have no
fucking idea. If someone says some shit again about me or my life I'll
sue them, you can be Jesus christ too but I'll don't care. I'm not
here for knowing people. The real life is different to internet shit.
Open your fucking eyes. START TO DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT, WORDS
ARE USELESS AND TALKIN' IS SIMPLE. ALSO MOSTLY OF YOU THINK THAT
YOU'RE REALLY INTO SOMETHING (about things too much high for you), BUT
FINALLY YOU DON'T HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT IT REALLY IS. GET A LIFE AND
SPEND MORE TIME IN REAL PLACES AND LESS ON INTERNET! I'D LIKE ALSO TO
KNOW WHO IS THE BITCH THAT STOLE SOME PICS OF ONE OF MY TATTOOS (THE
REAPER WITH FLAMES AND A NAME) AND SHE GIVES SHIT ABOUT MY LIFE WITH
OTHERS AND IT'S IMPOSSIBLE THAT I WAS I BECAUSE I DELETED MY PAGE ONE
YEAR AGO AND I RE-START ONLY NOT MUCH WEEKS AGO BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS SO
BUSY WITH MY STUDIES AND WORK. I'M REALLY INTERESTED BECAUSE I LEARN
SOME SHIT THESE DAYS AND I DID NOT TALK ABOUT MY LIFE ETC. WITH NOBODY
THAT I DON'T KNOW PERSONALITY AND NOBODY THAT I DON'T KNOW HAS MY
CONTACT! FOR WHO BELIEVES IN, YOU'RE A FUCKER LIKE HER. IT'S ALWAYS
SIMPLE BE HIDDEN BY A COMPUTER. COME ON! FACE TO FACE AND WE CLEAR
SOMETHING!

Entombed - Left Hand Path

Aw, now that I took that dig at the Scandis I feel kinda bad. To make up to all of our colder, blonder friends from the north here's some classic Entombed. Yes, I know everyone and their mom has Left Hand Path, but what about their little sisters. That's really what I'm after...

Also, "Carnal Leftovers" is my new favorite punk song.

Entombed - Left Hand Path

Swedish Death Metal, the book

Over the course of history there have been irreplicable moments of creativity that quickly disappeared leaving an amazing legacy of art or writing, or music, or whatever in their wake. Paris between the wars, London in the 60's, New York City in the 70's etc. Well in the 80's and 90's, Sweden had it's own musical rebirth with the death metal scene. Bands like Entombed, At the Gates, Dismember, Grave, Macrodex, etc. all made of up crazy kids with the idea that howling ferociously about gore and guts was an awesome idea, came together and created a body of music that will endure in to the future. Only a few people were really able to experience this scene first hand due to the fact that Sweden is far the fuck away from everything and most of the bands were broke and didn't travel too far for a long time.

Well, if you're like me and didn't get the chance to hång out in Stockholm in the mid 90's, Dan Ekeroth of Insision, Dellamorte, and Diskonto's new book (conveniently titled), Swedish Death Metal, gives you the straight dope on what happened. This book is basically like having the gnarliest hesher older brother with a funny accent who introduces you to metal and buys you beer when yer in high school.

The book is written super conversationally so if you're in to the whole "academic music literature" thing then fuck off to somewhere else, this ain't it. Ekeroth probably uses the words "brutal" and "heavy" a thousand times in the course of the book and most of the judgements are pretty subjective (especially in the encyclopedic listing of Swedish Death Metal bands that makes up the last 1/3rd of the book) but once you realize that Dan knows what the fuck he's talking about it's all good. I read it over the summer in about 2 days when I was in Finland and it was a great book. Right up there with Our Band Could Be Your Life. Beats the shit out of Lords of Chaos that's for fucks sure.