Wednesday, June 17, 2009


At every Rats in the Walls show Vic has had to stall in between songs for one reason or another. Every show she tells this joke.

Why do girls wear make up and perfume?

Because they're ugly and they smell.

So in honor of that, today is punk jokes day. Feel free to submit your best ones in the comments section.

- This building in London in the 70's has three floors. One floor is punks, the other floor is hippies, and the last floor is skinheads.

One day the building burns down in a 3 alarm fire

who survives the fire?

skinheads because they were at work.

- So this crusty is sitting outside of Rays on Ave A spanging. Some older dude with nice clothes walks past him and offers him a meal at Odessa, the crusty of course agrees to this and sits down with the older guy. A nice vegan meal and a couple of beers later the dude leans over to the crusty and whispers something.

The crusy reels back in disgust and then punches the dudes fucking lights out and gets up and walks out of the restaurant in a huff. One of the other customers runs out after him in shock asking what the hell could he have possibly said to deserve such an ass kicking?

The crusty responds with, "I dunno man, something about a job."

- How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None dickhead, punks only fuck in gutters.


mlp said...

how may rudeboys does it take to change a lighbulb? one to drop it and two to pick it up pick it up.

Unknown said...

How do you get a one-armed crustpunk out of a tree?

Throw him a beer.

How do you get a punk out of the bathtub?

Turn on the water.

What do you call a punk without a girlfriend?


Aaron said...

You totally fucked up that crusty-who-gets the meal and beers joke. The guy doesn't "whisper something to him", he says, "How about in exchange for the meal and beers you give me a blow-job?"

Jack said...

The fuck I got it wrong. If you can't figure that one out then you're a skinhead.

AKA: how many times does a skinhead laugh at a joke?

3. Once when you tell it to him. Once when you explain it to him, and once a week later when he finally figures it out.

D.Matt said...

Q)How many punks does it take to change a light bulb?

A) None, punks can't change anything.

Q) How many straightedge kids does it take to finish a case of beer?

A) One, when the others aren't looking.

Q) If a punk and a skin are in the back of a car, who's up front?

A) A cop

Q) What do you call an aquatic skinhead?

A) An Oi-ster. (haha seriously laughed at this one)

my fave....

Q) Why do anarchist only drink herbal tea?

A) Because proper tea is theft!

Jack said...

That last one is pretty good man. Hahaha one for the crass fans in the audience.